Vehemence

Confessions of a Helpless Child

Written by- Nishi Thakur

Edited by-Ananya Julka

"I did that to show her that I love her, to keep her away from anything bad and to protect her from her own ignorant deeds" said my dad.

He says that people have different ways of expressing their feelings, different ways of showing their love and to safeguard their loved ones. His way is to punish mom everytime she does something wrong. It is like raising a child, beating him when he is guilty of something so that he does not repeat it. Sometimes it is difficult to watch her being thrashed, but dad says I have to learn. "You will have your own family tomorrow, you must not let your wife disobey you." I often wonder since when did going out become wrong, when did getting a job for better financial status become wrong, when did being independent become wrong. And when did it become right, to suck happiness out of one's life, to cage them and treat them as objects. When did it become acceptable that my mom can be maltreated? It eats me up, my mother's smile when she tries to assure me that everything is okay. I feel disgusted when she believes that this is what she deserves, this is what she has to go through and she has to devote her life to this man.

Helplessness is what my mother's face reflects. Helplessness is what holds me back. The marks on my mother's body are permanent, my memories are permanent.

The only thing that is not permanent is my father's brutalities, the sadness behind my mother's smile and our helplessness.